Day 11
  

In this blog I would like to take responsibility on back chat ,I experience with starting new job.I realize how much I exist in energy , addiction to energy , not being stable in my physical world.
      When my last job ended ….,I experience the anxiety ,anxiety from my mind memory. 
    In my mind memory, I was comparing the situation from long time ago to the time of now.Of course this was like in the quantum time speed…..,it was so automatic…,were in  one moment I experience all of this pass memory. The same ,it was now with starting the one day training with the new job.  I mean it is different job, different  people (…..altho on one level, we are the same…,)I am different  (..or maybe this is what  I want to believe of myself)..and WHY   do I experience the same anxiety ????
  Almost, like it does not matter for the mind ,who is involved ,what situation is now…,because the experience of stress and anxiety is the same……I would like to take responsibility with self forgiveness process on this:
  
1.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to compare my new situation with my job, to situation in my memory from the past,not seeing the difference  with it,not stoping the mind game .

2.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself, to not seeing the difference, between now and then, in my life situation,but totally allowed fear direct me in my physicality. 

3.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to totally believing my mind ,to abdicate my responsibility to the mind  game,were I again play  the role of victim of my life ,victim of my mind.

4.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself, to not take it stand with my living ,to not directing my self in physical reality ,but allowing fear to move me ,allowing to energy move me, instead  of taking responsibility for me ,with breath .

5.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself ,to live in memory land of me , memory land of situation and people , being completely posses by fear of  future, ….of what if….,not seeing in common sense point ,of that in this physical reality ,we do not know  what  is going  happened next ,….That the only point we can  affect  is  direct  our selfs  now ,with breath ,taking step  by step , not living in some past memory   or future projection .

 6.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself, with out even be in this new job…already making future projection of  what if ???….,which is abuse ,from a point of breathe , when  I am taking single breath for granted ,when I am not in my physical  expression   of me , but living in dimensions  of the mind.

7. I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself, to stay with the feeling  sorry for me , instead of  being stable and moving slowly with breath .

8.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself, to only concentrate on my self interest , to not seeing anybody else or anything  else ,being in fear  of my future , the future were I only see me , which is ignorance ,because we are living together from the point that we depend on each others ,not only people ,but nature ,animals .

9.I commit myself to  get a grip of being strong ,of being stable ,of not giving up that easy to my fears , to  realize that being in fear or living in fear is not necessary  from the practical point ,because  it does not change a things in physical reality ,
  so there if I experience the point of fear I commend myself to slow down ,to breath , to do things they have to be done .

10. I commit myself to finish what I  am doing in physical reality , to be aware of point of fear which are existing in me ,to remember that the fear in me, must  be stop by me, in order to be equal  ,to live in equality in this world.

11.I commit myself to stay with breath ,to investigate in writings the points of fear in me , to push harder to stop the fear in ME.

Thank you for reading !!